small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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