lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
