Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
