Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize