After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
