1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need to calm my uterus...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
