Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
