i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize