why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
