You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
