You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
