bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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