The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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