He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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