Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
