I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
