i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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