Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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