So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
