hotel room ftw
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
