The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sex in a hospital.. check
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
