I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize