do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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