my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
