...so i touched it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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