Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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