Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
