Can Purell be used as lube?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize