This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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