we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
