Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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