he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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