It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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