I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
