And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
