I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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