i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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