I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
