HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
