At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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