You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
