Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
