I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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