I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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