I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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