It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
