Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my liver is dry heaving
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
