The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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