I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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