That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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