I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
