The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
