You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
