Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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