is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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