Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
