Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
