Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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