You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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