The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
