So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
