My hand turned me down
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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