I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Drake has all the answers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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