Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
