Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
