you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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