I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
