I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
