she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
